Strengthening Boundaries and Boosting Self-Esteem with ACT Therapy

Feeling trapped by old habits or constantly criticizing yourself? Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a type of therapy that can help! It's all about being present, treating yourself with kindness, and doing things that really matter to you. ACT can be useful for getting better at setting boundaries and boosting your self-esteem. Let's take a look at how it works!

What is ACT?

ACT boils down to this: our stress often comes from trying to dodge uncomfortable feelings, getting caught up in our thoughts, and not living in line with what truly matters to us. To help with this, ACT has six main ideas to help us get "psychologically flexible"—which just means being able to be present and either change or stick with actions that line up with what we care about. These ideas are all about…

1. Cognitive Defusion: Learning to perceive thoughts, images, emotions, and memories as what they are (just bits of language and passing phenomena), not what they say they are (dire predictions, solid truths).

2. Acceptance: Actively embracing the experience of thoughts, feelings, and sensations without trying to change their frequency or form.

3. Contact with the Present Moment: Being fully aware of the here and now, experienced with openness, interest, and receptiveness.

4. The Observing Self: Accessing a sense of self that is a context for thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and is distinct from the content of one’s mind.

5. Values: Discovering what is truly important and meaningful in life, in terms of personal values.

6. Committed Action: Taking effective action guided by one’s values, even if it brings discomfort.

Applying ACT to Personal Boundaries

Setting healthy personal boundaries is important for well-being, but it’s often challenging for those struggling with self-esteem. ACT can empower individuals to establish and maintain boundaries through several of its core processes:

• Values Clarification: ACT encourages individuals to clarify what matters most to them, which can highlight their needs for personal space and respectful interactions. Understanding and acknowledging these values can motivate one to set boundaries that protect and honor these values.

• Committed Action: Once boundaries are identified as a value, ACT helps individuals commit to actions that respect and enforce these boundaries, despite potential conflicts or discomfort that may arise.

• Acceptance and Cognitive Defusion: These processes help individuals handle the uncomfortable feelings and challenging thoughts that can emerge when asserting boundaries, such as guilt or fear of rejection.

Enhancing Self-Esteem Through ACT

Self-esteem issues often stem from a harsh self-criticism and an identification with a negative self-concept. ACT addresses these problems by:

• Cognitive Defusion: This helps individuals see that critical thoughts about the self are just thoughts, not truths. This perspective can reduce their impact and help foster a more compassionate self-view.

• The Observing Self: By connecting with the observing self, individuals can begin to understand that they are more than their thoughts and feelings. This broader perspective can bolster self-esteem by reducing identification with self-criticism.

• Values and Committed Action: Engaging in actions that align with one’s true values can improve self-worth as individuals live in accordance with what they truly value, rather than acting in ways that seek approval or avoid disapproval.

Conclusion

ACT is a really helpful approach for setting good boundaries and feeling better about yourself. It's all about accepting your feelings, staying present, and focusing on what truly matters to you. By learning ACT techniques, you can build a healthier relationship with yourself and create a life that aligns with your values. Whether you struggle with saying no or have a hard time with your self-image, ACT can teach you to be more resilient and kinder to yourself.